Dear friends, I’ve been ignoring you.
No, no, your protests are charming yet inaccurate: I’ve actually been completely ignoring you, for real. I haven’t been reading your own blogs, I haven’t been following the reader stats here at FG HQ, I haven’t been checking my FG email address, let alone F@cebook… And I’ve been severely neglecting the Queer Canada Blogs project, even though I know that several folks have recently submitted suggestions for blogs to add.
Terrible, isn’t it?
The thing is, the whole world is terrible. Usually, that’s what this blog is about: One odd queer rambling on about her relatively-privileged life on a fucked-up planet. Not exactly catchy, I realize, but my marketing department is rather small.
In this terrible world, there are islands of solace, and I’m currently relaxing on one. Physically, in that I live on an island, and mentally, in that I’ve become extremely preoccupied with the minutia of daily life. I’ve put my attention on a very short leash, and it’s not wandering much farther than making food, sewing clothing, reading books, tending the garden, and playing with the dog. I spend all my internet time devouring how-to instructions: Tailoring, dehydrating, sausage-making, lamp crafting, reupholstering, permaculture, website design, raising goats, collecting maple syrup, etc etc etc… If it’s a skill I could possible find useful at some point, I’m reading about it.
The way I see it, I’m using this period of unemployment to shore up my resources for future times of need: When I next have a job, I’ll likely be too busy for testing recipes or learning new DIY skills, not to mention being emotionally worn out by the toll of the usual sexist/homophobic crap that often is found in trades-based workplaces. With that in mind, now is the time to stock the pantry! Literally, in that I’m filling my shelves with preserves, and figuratively, in that I’m filling my mind with reminders of all the inspiration and hope I’ll be needing.
“Why doesn’t she blog more about the stuff she’s making?” You may wonder. Well, the thing is, I want to… But I want to do it under my real name, so that I can use it for promoting the workshops I’m teaching, and maybe even someday make a little bit of pocket money from those initiatives.
Also, I’d like to have a blog that I can share with folks when they hear I’m a blogger and want to know what I write. Often I’m cool with telling random hipsters about this anonymous little domain, but in a job interview…? Yeah, it’d be good if I could show those people something a little less personal. Also, my mom! She knows I blog: She asked me point blank last time she was here, and all I said was “Yes.” Ha!
So that’s what I’m up to. I miss you! And I kinda miss the fervour I feel when I’m really on a roll and blogging a lot on this site, even though it’s often born from frustration or confusion or another general attempt to process something I’ve experienced. It’s so nice to be able to avoid that right now! And I’m not taking this chance for granted.
For now, I’m still here, but not here, because I’m oh-so-very exactly where I am.