I turned 30 years old last week

I turned 30 years old last week!

Oats woke me at 7 am with breakfast in bed, and in the interest of full disclosure, I feel I should tell you that I did not react well. I wanted to sleep, and told her so rather meanly, then realized that I was being completely horrible.

Which made me cry.

Then it occurred to me that starting off my thirties by wallowing in self-hatred was the kind of thing one might eventually regret… So I mustered some hidden reserves of happy energy, and insisted on driving Oats to work, which she initially declined but then finally accepted, no doubt because I was threatening more tears if she didn’t let me at least try to make amends.  Somehow, it all worked out: Oats forgave my earlier meanness, I felt better about myself, she got to work on time, and I eventually reheated my lovingly-prepared breakfast and enjoyed every bite.  Yay for being an adult!  Or at least trying to change up the script of the little emotional traps that sometimes suck me under.

After I dropped Oats off, I went to a nearby beach.  It was pouring rain, but I didn’t mind.  Summers here are generally very sunny and dry, which makes the odd rainy day into a bit of a treat.  I wore gumboots and my raincoat, threw the ball for Mo, and took in deep breaths of salty sea air.  The tide was way out, and the seaweed was quietly rotting on the sand, stinking in a way that I now realize signifies home to me.  How would I cope with life on the prairies?  I take it for granted, the ocean at my feet and the mountains on the horizon… Which isn’t reason enough to stay here, just a useful thing to realize.

Mo is at times a rather goat-like animal, especially when he climbs things.

One of the reasons I was so tired on the morning of my birthday was that I’d been out at the bar the night before, drinking whiskey with a couple good folks to commemorate the year that had gone by since our mutual friend’s death.  As I’ve written before, I was no longer close with this person at the time of her sudden passing, but she was a big part of my early life in this city.  I think about her a lot, and about all that’s changed since she’s been gone.  Not to be terribly morbid, but it was really good to spend some quality time reminiscing, on the eve of turning 30.

For the past several years, I’ve hosted big parties for my birthdays.  Not this year, though… It just sort of snuck up on me, and I found myself more in the mood for being alone.  Most of the day itself, I spent at home, sewing a dress, which was pretty great.  The day after my birthday was a Friday, when I usually host pizza dinner for my housemates plus a rotating cast of regulars, and so that became my birthday event.  All I had to do was make the pizza ingredients: Oats and Sum and Captain Pestou and Jag did all the cooking, and Oats made an amazing cake!  That’s Mo, sculpted from crispy rice treats and covered in chocolate. In case you can’t tell, he’s sitting in a boat.

Timtams + chopsticks = Oars!

Speaking of Mo, he’ll be having his own birthday this Saturday… Two years, which seems so amazing.  Forget me still feeling like I’m 20:  I feel like Mo’s still a tiny puppy.

Mo at 8 weeks old

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6 responses to “I turned 30 years old last week

  1. bookish butch

    Happy belated brthday!! Thirty aint nothin:-) Can I tell you somethin just between you and me, that Oats shes a keeper!! The thirties are a great time you come into your own, whatever that may be, big hug. Bonne Fete:-)

  2. Happy belated birthday, I’m glad to hear that you had a good one.

  3. feralgeographer

    Thanks, BB and Amy!
    Yes, Oats is a keeper… They broke the mold with that one, I tell ya…

  4. Welcome to your 30s and thanks for stopping by and reading my post about Swallows and Amazons! I’ll have to check out the book you mentioned. If you ever do get an S&A tattoo, I’d love to see pictures :)

    I, too, turned thirty this year. I hear from folks in a position to know that the decade has a lot to recommend it. Let’s hope they aren’t wrong!

  5. I’m coming up on 29 next month and am really excited for it. As usual for me I’m in pre-planning mode, but unlike other years, I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants a big to do, or at least something fun and quirky; another part of me wants a wee activity, intimate and casual, like your pizza party.

    Thanks for the honest portrayal of your birthday morning. Yay indeed for being an adult/attempting to circumvent old patterns. I’ve been faced repeatedly with this challenge over the past few months and sometimes I come out on top, as you did, and sometimes I don’t. Here’s to hoping more adult reactions in the future, and fewer meanie moments.

  6. feralgeographer

    Yay for fewer meanie moments!

    I hesitated a little to write about it, and then decided to, despite my embarrassment… Because throughout this blog I sometimes make reference to the fact that I see myself as being rather harsh and blunt, but rarely share actual stories of the shitty or difficult things I say or do!

    My birthday dinner actually turned into a bigger party than I’d intended, because nearly everyone I invited showed up. It was great, though. You should go bowling! Or to bingo. That was my other dream, but I couldn’t get it organized for this year.

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