I’m still trying.

In 2010, I wanted to try becoming an electrician.

And I did become an electrician:  I finished trade school, applied for a couple prestigious apprenticeships that I didn’t get, joined the union, was sworn in as a Brother, put in three months of skilled labour at a construction site, and got laid off.  It was, in short, a perfect beginning… Mostly because it was damn difficult and stressful and tedious and involved learning curves so fucking steep it’s a wonder I didn’t just slide back down to the bottom.

Next year, I want to try to keep going.  Funny, isn’t it?  But that’s how I feel.  Despite all the hard stuff, there was something that I felt when I was working in the trade, some idea of myself that I loved, some chance for the future that promised more than I’ve ever seen likely for what I’d be able to accomplish in life.

In fact, I *am* still trying:  It’s Saturday night, and my palms are all sweaty, from working through the online application to apprentice with the provincial power utility.  Like when I did this same thing back in February, I’m full of anxious hope.  Last time, nothing came of it, but I have more going for me this time.  Also, I’ve got a larger sense of time and possibilities, so the disappointment of not getting it won’t be as huge as it was last year.  I may not love my current job, but it’ll do for now, until I land that coveted apprenticeship position, at the shipyards or the naval yards or with the hydr0 corporation.  I’m still trying.

[This is Day 18 of Reverb 10… I fell off the horse there for a while, and missed out on most of the past week of prompts, but at least I blogged about other topics!]

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4 responses to “I’m still trying.

  1. sounds like you met your goal. keep at it!

  2. Keep trying!! Someone as articulate and intelligent as you is bound to be noticed by Hydro etc. Good luck.

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