addressing casual homophobia, trade school edition (part 2)

_classmate a, to classmate b_
what a FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!

_me, looking up from my desk a few feet away_
that’s completely inappropriate.

_classmate a_
oh! right! hey, i’m sorry… uh… sorry… i shouldn’t have said that… i never will again, okay?

_me_
yeah, cuz it’s completely inappropriate.

_classmate a, shrugging_
i’m sorry… it’s just that i was raised with that sort of talk all around me, and i just can’t help it, you know? but i AM sorry.

_me, in my head_
i don’t care if you were raised by card-carrying members of the n@zi party or the ku k1ux kl@n:in this classroom, you have no right to disrespect ANYBODY like that, GET IT? IT’S STILL COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE!!!

_me, out loud, as i put on headphones and immerse self in textbook_
yeah. well. huh.

***

they say you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, which is why i usually work hard on addressing oppressive language with proactive techniques (“wow! you just said something REALLY offensive! let’s talk about it!”).

as i’ve documented before, sometimes i’m too tired and instead just disengage and avoid my classmates so that i never have to hear their homophobic (racist, sexist, transphobic, etc etc etc) bullshit.

sometimes, though, there’s this funny alternative, in which my head is overflowing with the things i WANT to say and yet i can’t, because it seems like if i have the energy to throw THAT down, i oughta at least TRY to engage in a proactive fashion so that this dude doesn’t just walk away thinking i’m a rabid homo with an axe to grind. i get stuck between the honey and the vinegar, both of which can be pretty fucking sticky.

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2 responses to “addressing casual homophobia, trade school edition (part 2)

  1. that has to be the worst excuse ever. and, stupidest. cause… yeah… people were so less likely to use homophobic language 10, 20, 30 some odd years ago. i am sure what he meant to say was: “i’m sorry… it’s just that i was raised with that sort of talk all around me and I have never learned to have a critical thought in my brain or to possess a shred of self accountability, and i just can’t help it, you know? but, i AM just clueless about being an ignorant ass and have a burning need to blame everyone around me for it, so you know I really mean it when I say I am sorry.

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