annoyed at rejection, pacified by other plans

i didn’t get the 35-hour-per-week job. this annoys me, because my qualifications should have at least earned me a spot on the shortlist. however, aside from that, i’m feeling good about it, because there are so many other things i’d rather be doing than giving a large amount of energy to someone else’s project.  though i believe in the overall aim of that specific organization, i don’t think i’d have felt satisfied by the role i’d have had to play. all the freedom of my last job spoiled me, even as it drove me a bit crazy.

with some of my own plans in mind, as well as the general idea that i’d be more employable in the sort of flexible contracts that suit me best, i’m considering taking a bookkeeping course at the college in the fall. this is also because i’m realizing that i’d do better if i stopped ignoring my interest in money, and instead try to harness it for useful things. all those years of knee-jerk anarchism have made me reluctant to understand the reality of capitalism, even as they’ve made me very confident in my DIY pride and belief that you don’t have to fuck others over to survive. i have this idea that i can hold true to the anarchism that anchors me, as long as i don’t try to hide my struggles with ethics, how our economic system works, and my place in it. or maybe that’s me trying to validate myself; i don’t know right now. but i’m okay with that.

i’m also a tightwad.  had i mentioned this yet?  fanciful sojourns in the southern hemisphere to the contrary, i’m all about pinching pennies… which is why i was thrilled to pick up this book at a vinnie’s today!

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it was written in 1966, but seems appropriate for these financial times.  i’m two-thirds of the way through it so far, and it’s a pretty good mix of common sense, interesting ideas, utter pretentiousness, outdated advice, and totally fucked-up sexist bullshit, with a good dash of class/race/queer ignorance thrown in for fun.

no, i will not rent out my spare room to a single working mother in exchange for her cooking my meals when she gets home from work every evening.

yes, i will research factory stores if i ever need to buy a… huh… well, something that’s made in a factory and that i might want to have new instead of secondhand.  i can’t think of what that might be, but there’s probably something.  toothpaste?

i have another obsession as of late, aside from being cheap and mocking everything.  it developed when oats and i were in queensland, because though we’re not your typical shopoholics, we both love the chance beauty and good deals of the small town thrift store.  somehow, i ended up getting overly fond of small tablecloths and silk scarves printed with commemorative australiana of one variety or another.  you know: koalas… or a map of the northern territory… or common birds/wildflowers.  though i suppose i like most retro kitsch, i hate filling my house with crap, so rarely buy it.  there’s something about these pieces of fabric, though:  they’re so well-made, and yet tacky, that i find them unbearably appealing…. especially cuz they’re usually $1 or less.  oats was good enough to take my new collection home with her when she returned to canada on friday, creating more space in my own bag.  i’m not aiming to fill it, but i have picked up three more pieces.

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to be fair, this isn’t like my collection of bad nautical art (i <3 embroidered ships and seagulls, in plastic frames!), with which i intend to decorate my bathroom until the end of days.  for these tableclothes and scarves, my plan is to sew cushion-covers and/or picnic blankets, some of which i’ll be able to sell or give away as gifts.  if enough people like them, i might even try to do a craft fair or maybe etsy.  i don’t really want a full-blown business, but it’d be nice to cover costs for the stuff i make for myself.

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