i only slept for maybe 4 hours last night. the apartment is so quiet and empty, and the cooler weather has made it feel even more unwelcoming. the rooms are massive. i need to hang my art on the walls. well, i need to do a lot of things, but hanging the art seems the most manageable at the moment.
i have a massive cold sore on the center of my bottom lip. i’ve never had a cold sore before this, and didn’t know what it was. it got infected with bacteria of some sort, and the doctor told me if i don’t dose it with enough antibiotics, the infection could spread to my labret piercing. fuckin’ rad.
to top it off, things at work are stressful and upsetting. i just got off the phone with my boss. usually i like my boss very much, but she often has several agendas on the go and so can be difficult to trust. i have difficulty trusting most people, actually… and my boss gives me reason not to trust her. the subject at hand is my radio show, which i produce partly on company time and partly on my own. amid phrases such as “we’ve got to protect our interests!”, she told me that i shouldn’t be doing work that promotes our project if i’m not getting paid for all of the labour. at the same time, she wants to cut the number of hours for which i’m funded to produce the show. can you see where this is going? maybe i’m not providing enough context… at any rate, i may be losing my show. i feel angry and powerless. this hurts.
most things hurt right now, actually. but i’ve already cried a whole bunch this morning, so should try to hold off on more tears while i rehydate.
[photo: artsy shot of mic shadow and headphones @ cfuv… january 2008]